My life (or life in general) has a certain yin-and-yang to
it. A battle of left vs. right brain. It is the coercion of these two opposites
that we call balance. Not a compromise which leaves both sides without what they want. Balance is where both are fulfilled and living in harmony.
I call my two sides urban vs.
hippie. Time away from writing usually means I’m in an urban mode of doing and
I forget to sit back and gain perspective. Conversely, the hippie side means
a whole lot of talk and no action. And lately it seems urban girl has been
running the show.
Getting wrapped up in the holidays was something I swore
wouldn’t happen to me this year. Problem is that I was too busy in November to
set myself up for December properly. So now the pendulum has swung to the urban
side and I am feeling out of touch with what I really desire to be as a person in this world.
Today I was lucky to be gifted a space of deep reflection.
While photographing a memorial yoga class, I tapped into a deeper level of
perspective than I have felt in a few weeks. It was the perfect blend of urban hippie balance; working and yoga at the same time. I felt a pull on
the reins mid-class, and all of the left brain patterns I had been riding changed course. It
was the right time, doing the right work, in the right space to make me see.
I have worked so hard the last few months on creating new
habits and formations in my brain which have delivered some pretty miraculous
results. Starting my own business. Disappearing my debt. Feeling truly
responsible and self-confident for the first time in my life. Then a good ol’
brain pattern jumped right in and took over like it owned the place; I
started to feel like I didn’t deserve any of it.
But a really funny thing happens when you realize that these
experiences are merely brain science. All of the judgements of which is right and
which is wrong float away. Of all my learnings this year, that has to be the most enlightening realization of them all.
For most people, how the world occurs in the moment can feel
chaotic. Emotional. Overwhelming to say the least. And we wouldn’t say that in
hindsight everything is 20/20 if a little perspective weren’t healthy and
delivering of lessons. Knowing that pain and emotion don’t actually exist in
the body, but are merely a manifestation of the mind, our relationship with how
something feels changes- the emotion no longer is the truth. The brain
pattern is what's true. Knowing this makes it
easier to turn things around. And a yoga class doesn’t help to activate the switch either...
