Chance for Change

In the calm of morning, spring sunlight flows through my windows and somehow snow is also falling. This contrast of sorts feels questionable, unnerving, and characteristic of the winds of change.

Sitting in the midst of great transition in my life, I wonder; does change feel like snow on a sunny day for everyone? I am someone who carefully calculates life, making left brain decisions with strong strategic consideration of current circumstances. So the curveball of life throwing me a different set of circumstances can sometimes feel like a punch in the gut. Yesterday was that day. Keeled over with freeflowing tears, feeling like I don’t know which way is up and desperately trying to ‘figure out’ some solution. But little perspective comes when you are processing the pain and shock that comes with such a turnover of things to consider.

Knowing what I know in my personal development makes it almost harder to digest. Up comes the battle of right and left brain once again. Left brain knowing that this drastic change will push me to take action in my life and come out a stronger survivor with faster results than I could have gained from any carefully collected plan. But that right brain. Oh, the right brain. It scratches at any chance to blame or fill with anger and sadness. Thoughts of self doubt are what operate it, and there is no form of logic that can alter the emotion in such a time of shock. All you have to repair the right brain in crisis mode is a little time and good friends.

So here we are the morning after, a prescription of time and friends applied to the wounds of change. And it does feel different. My left brain buzzing and excited with the chance to come up with a new plan that will solve the crisis and leave me better off. My right brain vulnerable but willing to try out a new path, and confidence starting to build.

A good book once taught me that you will never know what your most successful path in life will look like. Sometimes being cut off by a brick wall is actually part of the process in the journey of success. And most of all, you will only ever be given what life knows you’re capable of dealing with.

It just takes a little hope and belief in yourself.

Choose.

I am generally a fan of any experience that invites me to take a hard look at myself, put my priorities in check, and learn about how I operate as a person. I never expected that buying a home would be this much of a self-development process- or teach me about how I tend to make decisions in life.

As I met with my real estate agent today, I had an experience all new to me. I heard myself as if I were hovering above. Like a dream or a ghost sequence in a movie, I saw my words in the context of my life. And it went a little something like this;

Step One: To avoid making a decision or looking picky, give a list of every single idea of what you want that you have ever had in your life. Everyone TOTALLY knows that people hate people who know what they want (right?).

Step Two: Ask for opinions from everyone you know so you don’t have to commit to the big commitments of life, and there is always someone else to blame if things go awry.

Step Three: NEVER trust your own opinion.

Step Four: Try on every option from your now very long list of possible realities. Realize you have no idea what you’re talking about. Avoid the whole subject altogether for a month, and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Step Five: Take on a new hobby to distract yourself from the pending commitment you know you will have to make.

Step Six: Complain to friends about how you feel like a failure. Seek compliments and search email inbox for motivating acknowledgement emails you have received in the past to ‘perk’ you up.

Step Seven: Drink too much coffee one day and get effin serious with yourself about what’s important in life. Let an inspiring book/ted talk/article kick you in the ass and make you realize clearly what you DO want.

Step Eight: Sit down at desk or local coffee shop. Get ‘er done. (Note: Do not answer phone calls or emails or go on facebook, or you will be back at Step Five all over again)

Step Nine: Tell everyone and their moms what you discovered.

Step Ten: Let the world (or the magic of networking) bring you what you want.

So knowing this, wouldn’t it just be easier to skip to Step Eight first thing? Seeing this set out, I realize where I have alienated those around me in my ‘process’ (usually around Steps 2-6). But this is a huge brain pattern to shorten, especially when the breakthrough of Step Seven feels so damn good after months of shit.

The thing is, you all know (just as I do) what you need to do in order to get what you want. How do you lose weight? Eat well and exercise. How do you make more money? Work hard and ask for higher pay. But knowing what you need to do isn’t inspiring. It certainly doesn’t propel you into action.

I realized over the last few days that I have a talent I didn’t even know I had. The ability to visualize the future in a way that inspires me to act. And the ability to help others create their own visions. It’s picturing the end result that can skip you to step eight. I intend to keep researching brain patterns until I have Step Eight become Step One, and then teach others how to do it. 

So I leave you with the words of a great Canadian band, as I map out how to build Step Eights into next week’s schedule. And knowing now that my best ideas and accomplishments have come to fruition in coffee shops the country over, you will likely find me there every day next week.

Thank you ma’am for what you’ve done,

I know now where I’m going cause I’ve found just where I’m from

Getting easier with every task.

It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.