the battle.

Lately all I feel when I wake up is a craving for creativity. My head is buzzing like Toronto traffic with ideas and a need to express them. I would love nothing more than to sleep, make wonderful food, and work on my projects all day long. In the past my level of self motivation has been minimal and now all of a sudden I have a desire to work for myself.

Walking with a friend today, I learned about toddlers. At that age, the right side (or creative side) of their brains is so dominant that it overcomes any of the left-brain logic when it gets overwhelmed. It’s the reason they throw tantrums when they get frustrated; all order is gone, and it feels like chaos to them. This apparently happens to us as adults as well, only to a lesser degree.

I feel such a battle occurring inside of me today. On one hand, my right brain cravings have me spending all of my spare time searching for information and inspiration to fuel my writing, photography and community projects. It’s all I want to do. On the left-brain side of things, I am somewhat terrified slash convinced that you can’t make money being an artist. And that part makes me want to give it all up. 

I have spent the last few months strengthening my left-brain logic. Learning to take care of finances and be responsible has led me to a more conscious and less impulsive way of life. It’s the muscle that holds me back from fully giving into temptation.

While this development has been so crucial for me to live, the right-brain side of things is starving for an outlet. The good news? This outlet is no longer over-spending on clothes and shopping. The bad news? I’m faced with a new desire in life that is raging and growing faster than I ever could have expected.

Twice today I got coaching that I have been holding back and I need to let it go. I want that more than I want to eat candy (and I love candy). But where is the balance? When is it right to let your creative side off the leash? And moreover, how do you know when to scale it back?