when i grow up, i will be happy

Being that personal development is a hobby of mine, I have always been aware of when I’m not happy and looked for ways to shift my mind state into one that was more productive.

There is no doubt that our emotion is affected by the ‘outside world’ and the things we interact with. Being kissed by someone you really like no doubt will leave you smiling for the rest of the day. But since our happiness relies so much on things beyond our control, it leads to instincts of blame when things do not make us happy. What if we should turn that finger-pointing around? What if although we are affected by the circumstances around us, the feelings we respond with are our own responsibility?

Kinda makes complaining useless then, doesn’t it...

Consider that it’s not the world’s problem. That things will happen, regardless of our interaction with them. Some we will like, some we will not. But the expectation that we should always be perfect and/or happy is one that only we create.

What I have learned from my recent read is that there will never come a time where we are consistently and effortlessly happy like in the movies. I have always known that was a lie, but still secretly hoped for this illusion to come true.  If nothing else, the massive ‘self-help’ section of each bookstore indicates that I am not the only one struggling with this false expectation.

So what if we all let go?

My aim lately is to learn simple tools that give me confidence to go with the flow of life. I can’t change things. I can only be a different person through them. It’s no longer helpful to try and change things when I feel unhappy, then coast by when things perk up again. That leads me to a consistently inconsistent life, and keeps me from accepting things or being who I am.

My request to all of you today is to thank your rough patch. Give it a nod of the head, and see your feelings about it as your own choice of reaction. Mine today was lugging my laundry downstairs only to find someone using up all of the machines. Not worth ruining the great day I am having, right?

I guess I've got to give it up or let me go...